No more...

I've been attempting to kick my terrible habits/addictions for a very long time.  It's been the same game of starting, going strong, temptation, give into temptation, what the heck I already cheated, all the way to forget about it.

It's been one do over after do over.  I need to change this pattern.

I am out of do overs.  That's what I'm going to say.  No more do overs.  This is it, this is now.  I have to succeed.  I can't fail this time.  I have too many people counting on me.  I can't continue down this path.  I'm getting older (sob).  It's not going to get easier.  I have to stop this before it's too late.

Now that is not to say that I will slip up at some point.  That is not to say that I won't have a bad day.  This will most likely happen.  I have birthdays coming up, I have holidays.  It's going to happen.

What I need to NOT happen is to allow a singular cheat or a bad day to snowball.  In the past I would cheat or have a bad day entirely and it would just snowball into "well I already cheated this much".  I even had a time when I was being active with my workouts and I actually said to myself that "this cheat is ok, I'll work it off tomorrow".  Yeah it was that ridiculous.  I'm the queen of excuses.

This time if I fall of the wagon, I need to get right back on again.  No more days or weeks or months of cheating because my hard work had already been undone.  I cannot do it over.  If I have a bad day or a cheat I have to make sure I get right back into it with no delay.

This is my plan.  This is my now.  I have no other choices. No more do overs.